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27 Oct 2014
4 WTF Stories from the Legend of King Arthur

4 WTF Stories from the Legend of King Arthur

The stories of king arthur were critically the comic books of their time full of breasts, violence and elaborately baffling melodrama.These types of four of the craziest:

4.King uther rapes/murders arthur into reality

Uther, the king of uk, had a flaming dent in his codpiece for igraine, the full of cornwall.The situation was, igraine was committed to the duke of tintagel, and cornwall and england were in a war that seemed to start back up whenever someone commemorated it.

Believing that most things that couldn't be solved with murder simply wasn't worth doing, uther spontaneously resumed war on cornwall and had merlin disguise him as the duke, doubtless with magic and not wholesale costume supplies.

Genuine duke was killed in a battle, leaving uther free to consult with igraine in his duke disguise and plunge his sword into her stone.He impregnated her even though sperm of legend, and nine months later arthur appeared.

3.Sir gawain decapitates women and wears her head home

Sir gawain was this can be the wolverine of king arthur's x men he was a huge dick who killed indiscriminately and yet somehow got his own spinoff.Well, gawain was in a dispute with a lord named ablamar and make sure you demolished him in the resulting melee.Despite ablamar being utterly beaten and begging for mercy, gawain elected to cut his head right the hell off, possibly because his choppin' arm needed practice.

See that mustache.He perfomances for keeps.

Sadly i must say, lady ablamar saw gawain about to strike the killing blow and dove opposite his sword, causing gawain to behead her because.Soon after, four more meticulous knights showed up to kill gawain's merciless ass, but his life was spared on the trouble that he return to camelot with lady ablamar's body draped across the front of his horse, and her head wrapped round his neck.He heroically signed for their terms, because the sole thing sir gawain valued more than his honor was not being stabbed to death.

2.Lancelot will be raped.Twice.

Lancelot was totally slumbering with king arthur's wife, guinevere, no matter what being arthur's chief stickman.This upset lady elaine not towards fact she objected to the affair, but because she seriously considered lanced a lot.As, she slipped him a drink which equal parts roofie and lsd, glasses are designed lancelot was drugged, she was able to convince him that she was guinevere.Love-Making ensued.

But once had not been enough.On a later stop by at the castle, brisen, elaine's servant, told lancelot that guinevere was burst out to"Verify his knighthood"On the inside a blacked out bedchamber.Brisen led lancelot into elaine's room as, on top of that, amazingly, the dark night was fooled again.Apparently lancelot was used to throwing his penis into journeys of mysterious discovery.

1.Arthur impregnates his brother and tries to drown their incest baby

Arthur pretty well jousted his king a ling into anything he could(Due to the fact he had his knights take vows of celibacy, this made him king of the shitheads rrn addition to just plain old england).When can compete with king lot sent his wife, morgawse, to criminal on him, arthur sexed the duplicity right out of every her.

Sadly i must say(And unbeknownst to arthur before said sexing), Morgawse was certainly his sister.Based on merlin, his or her own inbred son, mordred, was determined to kill arthur, because merlin can apparently only see tomorrow when it doesn't do anyone any good(And, you will realize, before arthur pennihilated his sis).

"Wizardry is crazy, arthur.Mearly hear me out,

Main crisis was, arthur didn't know for the baby was(Critically, merlin, what is the fuck does he pay you for? ).He no more than knew mordred's birthday.As a consequence, he rounded up all of the kids who shared that birthday, use them a boat and set them adrift in the sea.Because if an unmanned ship full of infants occurs sink, that's just the lord giving them a call home.Of course it did sink, killing everyone fully briefed.

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